What’s your personal experience with being rejected?  How do you respond to being rejected? 

What are the feelings you experience when rejected?  Do these feelings affect you in your day to day life;  does rejection affect  your self esteem?

Let me guess, if you are honest with yourself  the answer to all of the above questions is YES!  It takes a very special mindset to deal with these feelings of rejection in a positive and detached manner.  But, the good news is, the more we acknowledge these feelings and let them pass with understanding – the more we become detached from them.

So, what is your strategy when you face rejection?  Do you take their “NO” as a reflection on you and your ability?  Do you get angry and resentful?  Maybe you even experience very strong and hateful feelings?

The secret to dealing with rejection is – DO NOT take rejection personally.  Instead, consciously remind yourself of these four most common true reasons for rejection:

1.    You / Your offer does NOT reflect the other party’s values

The other party might have a complete different set of values and beliefs and they simply cannot   understand you/ your position or your offer.  In many rejections the other person has a different value system and is hard for them to understand yours, so in an essence they are rejecting the value they are able/unable to recognise.

 2.    You have used the wrong strategy

You might not presented yourself/ your offer in the best light for the other party and it is really your strategy that was rejected.  If the pattern of rejection is repeating – this is something  that needs to be revisited again and contemplated upon in order to make required changes for future.

3.   You haven’t recognised the other party’s real needs

You may not have identified the other party’s core needs yet or effectively explained the logical and emotional benefits of your offer.

 4.   You are not targeting the right party for your offer

Sometimes rejection works as a filter to get rid of people who are not right for you/your offer, and lack the required enthusiasm and determination.  In some cases, the fact that you have been turned down will count very much in your favour in the future, when you eventually do come in contact with the right party for you/your offer.  Many times in our life, we have only recognised something as a blessing when it has given us lots of pain and uncomfortable feelings and made us go inside to change our self/ our offer.   When we manage to detach from these uncomfortable feelings, we get a better perspective of what changes these experiences have forged in ourself/our offer.

Missed our 1st part on rejection?  Click here

Watch out for “How To Overcome Rejection? – Part 3